It’s easy to do yoga in the morning. In the morning I’m optimistic, ready to begin again. Like a new grapefruit diet back in the 70’s, morning yoga is all about resolutions.
The hard part is stopping the grouchy train late at night when I’m overtired and overextended.
That’s when you’d think it would be easy to go to bed, but it’s not. When I’m tired is when I want to punish myself with old habits of mind.
That’s when the practice is hard.
That’s when yoga seems stupid and futile so I march around the house like a 51 year old baby.
Everyone can see the poor baby just needs to go to bed but she can’t go to bed because she can’t unwind.
Of course that’s when all my techniques would come in handy, and if I remember they even exist, then they do, the challenge is remembering them on a bad day.
And it doesn’t help if you say, “maybe go do your yoga” that just makes me mad…and it’s an entire topic unto its self. No, I have to remember this myself. She who will not be appeased must do this herself.
Of course, since I often speak of balance it’s entirely possible that sometimes I just need to sulk. But, mostly I notice this need comes on days I didn’t exercise, train, or meditate.
S.U.L.K. = Some Un-Loving-Kindness
So, my next goal is to figure out how to self-short circuit my grouchy nights? How to allow my sulky mood and self pity to exist without forcing a change, but also without reverting to bad habits like pity nachos.
I’ll need a cue, a mnemonic…
I always liked the first one I came up with…”the answer is not in the fridge.”
It always worked til last night when the fridge was broken and suddenly it’s seemed important to eat the contents.
So now something new: I’m inclined to set a challenge: headstands for grumpy, shoulder stands for sulky, snail pose for self pity.
It will be my new pity party routine. Now all I new is a sticky to remind me.