This morning, in my 50th year of life, Im feeling bloated. Not constipated, mind, just over full.
At 50, what does it mean to be bloated? After 37 years of spot on accurate menses, now each month I’m not sure what is happening with my body so I wait longer and wonder more. It’s given me new perspective on those 37 years. Each month our bodies swell in anticipation of fertilization. How much is that like the rest of my hopes and dreams and goals? A giant holding breath, then a final exhale, swoosh. Powerful chemicals are behind the scenes discussing events and I feel like a kid standing in the hallway listening to the muffled conversation.
In January with the knowledge that “if you have more than 3 goals you have none” I vowed to back off and simplify. One of my three goals was to study and pass my ACE personal trainer exam.
As a fitness professional it is challenging to find time to sit and study, but I must admit it’s turning into a guilty pleasure. I like to think I’ve got it figured out, I study a little, I do a chore, repeat throughout the day. There is so much to read and so much I want to read in addition to my manuals.
The reality is, real life interrupts and before I know it I’m on a tangent. That’s why I’m looking to go on hiatus from teaching, to take at least a small break from the back and forth.
I’m hoping it’s the right thing to do.