Posted in yoga

Tiny Mourning in the Morning.

Never Can Say Goodbye...
Hope Springs Eternal and Sits in a Glass of Milk in My Fridge.

 

I was blessed with strong, slightly crooked but solid teeth.   I’ve always taken care of my teeth as well, only two cavities in 50 years.

When I learned that one of my newer fillings had allowed some decay underneath I was sad and I felt a little betrayed because the silver mercury that this new filling replaced had been working just fine for 35 years.  Now my new fangled 8 year old filling failed and  now I needed a temporary crown and some additional “fill”.  Sitting in a dentist chair trying to remember how to swallow is not how I want to spend my golden years, and I don’t know why but it seems to get harder each time I go back to the dentist so I’m a real dedicated tooth cleaner.  I’m holding up my end, I want my fillings to do their part as well.

Last night, alas, my temporary crown broke and apparently part of my molar chipped off as well.  As I regarded this tiny piece of tooth I felt so sad and a little bit afraid.  There, summed up in my hand was a small lump of calcium I had carried with me and depended on for 50 years.  I had no extra pain, thankfully no actual root was exposed, just a metaphysical one…the metaphysical core root:  the fear of decay and death.

This loss, the feeling of loss that I associate with aging,  seems to visit me more and more these days…like when I “Windex” my glass table top and look down to see a gray-haired and slightly saggy lady looking up at me.  Oh, natural dark brown tint, how I miss how you made my scalp not pink.

Reader, I know you scoff, I hear you say the refrain, “Oh, Maria, you are doing so well…who are you to complain?”  It’s true, I have my health right now and I revel in it.   But it is a skittish creature and I must scurry after it each day by stretching, and moving, and choosing my meals wisely.  And each time a little bit of my youth chips off, I know I’m allowed to feel a little loss because I am human and this incarnation of me won’t last forever.  Just bear with me for a minute while I sit with this feeling.

 

 

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Author:

Maria Young Ace Certified Personal Fitness Trainer, Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher (500) Independent Contractor providing the following services: Office Management, Bookkeeping, Web Design, Marketing and Instruction in Yoga and Martial Arts for children and adults. Black Belt, 4 year program, LockBoxing. Maria studied under Erik Lee and won Grand Champion at the Kuk Sool Tri-State Tournament in 2006. Experience Certified Yoga Instructor: 700 hour level. At Piedmont Yoga, Maria’s main instructors were Richard Rosen, Rodney Yee, and Clare Finn. To them she is eternally grateful. Richard Rosen, founder Piedmont Yoga Studio & editor of Yoga Journal says: “Among the 30...students Maria was always among the more assiduous and adept.  If you’re thinking of adding Yoga instruction to your program, then I highly recommend Maria for the job.” College: CSULB: B.A. English Literature, UC Berkeley: M.A. Comparative Literature